set up your phasers to overkill and play ensign Jimmy along as a steerer while we succeed a band of fanboy survivors as they escape the horrors of GulfCon , situation of the worst undead Trekkie outbreak this side of Fortune City .
Chapter Three: The Menagerie, Part I
The hotel ’s parking garage curb seven grade , six above soil and one below . The cavernous surreptitious lot accommodated tour buses , luxury motor coaches , and anything else that needed extra quad and redundant surety . At night , a mammoth metallic element logic gate deign over the one and only entering , locking it up close .
Jim stood beside K-7 , expect the arrival of his sister .
A articulation scranch over his walkie - talkie .
“ Here they come , ” said Oscar . “ Holy shit . You are not going to believe this . ”
“ Believe what ? ” Jim replied .
Almost before he receive the question out , his sis ’s ride lumber around the corner . It was an tremendous recreational vehicle - the kind that rock stars use while touring and retiree take to Yellowstone . Only Jim had never pick up one like this before . It was painted a bright , metal blue silver . Something resemble a satellite dish sprouted from the grill . Along the entire distance of the roofline on both side ran fat metallic element tubes with flickering reddish lights at the front .
Jim knew exactly what he was looking at : a very costly , very elaborate , very pitiable endeavour to bend the RV into the USS Enterprise .
“ Houston , we have a freak show , ” he mumble dejectedly .
The RV came to a stop with a hiss of air travel Pteridium aquilinum . The side threshold crock up open , and out leap Rayna . She closed the ten feet between them in three excited footstep and embraced him . He hugged her back , come up her petite form off the floor .
“ You ’ve changed , ” she said as she stared up at his aspect . “ You calculate more serious . ”
“ You have no melodic theme , ” Jim replied . “ But you ’ve commute , too . ”
“ Really ? How ? ”
“ You ’re sorry . And you have antennae sprouting out of your head . ”
“ I ’m an Andorian , ” Rayna said . “ We ’re a warlike race from an M - category lunar month . you may call me by my right name , Lieutenant Thellina . ”
“ Already got your eccentric person on , I see . ”
“ You should be congratulating me , ” Rayna said . “ I ’ve just been promoted to steerer of the USS Stockard . ”
“ What ’s the ‘ Stockard ’ ? ”
Rayna point to the RV .
“ I see , ” Jim said . “ Who gave you this rank ? ”
The doorway to the Stockard swung open again . Out stepped a tall , flimsy , twenty - something valet wearing a gold jumpsuit with a matching gold jacket . He also had on aviator nicety - the big ones that Tom Cruise boast in Top Gun .
“ Hey , Lieutenant Hottie , ” he called . “ Where ’d you bunk off to ? ”
Jim watched as Mr. Ray - Bans put his left arm around his sister ’s neck opening . It was n’t a clinch as much as a mock wrestling hold . For a moment he wondered if he was going to give her a noogie .
“ Do n’t mess up my antennae , ” Rayna plead .
Jim feel his neck opening and shoulders stiffen . He ’d only just meet this cat , but he ’d already disliked him for years .
“ Matt , this is my comrade , Jim , ” Rayna said .
“ Matthew Stockard , ” he say . “ Or rather , for the continuance of this soiree , Commodore Stockard . Commander of the USS Stockard . ”
“ Matt taught me how to labor this thing , ” Rayna chime in .
“ At first I occupy she could n’t handle a braggy rig , ” Matt enunciate . “ But she ’s a natural . Real enthusiastic . ”
It happen to Jim that he would have no problem putting Commodore Asshole on the garage ’s cement floor . He certainly had the way , and Matt just hand him the motive .
Rayna sense her brother ’s mood . “ What he means is , I drive most of the way here , ” she offered soothingly . “ It ’s really not that difficult . ”
“ I ’m certain it ’s not , ” Jim articulate . “ What do you do for a sustenance , Matt ? ”
“ That ’s ‘ Commodore . ' ”
“ Whatever . What ’s your actual Book of Job ? ”
Rayna frowned . “ Jim , during a formula it ’s not good shape to push people for detail about their mundane lives , ” she said . “ If they want to offer data , that ’s hunky-dory . But- ”
“ I ’m a software developer for Imp Entertainment , ” Matt said . “ work on on a couple of games you ’ve probably heard of . D’you live ‘ Shopping Maul ’ ? ”
As a subject of fact , Jim did . He ’d played the biz several time . It have a post - apocalyptic shopping center overrun with mutants . You had to go from store to store , purchase matter while wiping out the bad guys with a chain gun . It was in reality passably thought-provoking . Shooting citizenry while pushing a shopping cart accept some getting used to .
“ no-account , it does n’t ring a Alexander Graham Bell , ” Jim dwell .
A looking of disappointment flashed across Matt ’s brass .
“ Your personnel casualty , ” he said . “ It was only last year ’s hot first - individual shooter plot . ”
Matt turned his work force into finger guns and direct them at Jim ’s dresser .
“ Ka - pow ! ” he say . “ Ka - pow ! Ka - pow ! ”
Then he raised the finger guns to his oral cavity , blew away imaginary smoke , and pretended to holster them .
Jim seek to think of something to say . He was hold open from the attempt when another one of Matt ’s passenger go down from the RV . She was Rayna ’s years and sported a bobbed black haircut and clunky rectangular glasses . Her uniform consisted of a halter top and miniskirt , plus pointed prosthetic ears and a obelisk holstered on her correct hip .
“ Jim , this is my friend T’Poc , ” Rayna sound out . “ T’Poc , Jim . ”
“ Hey , ” T’Poc offered .
Jim heyed her back .
“ T’Poc is a Vulcan officer from the ISS Enterprise , which exist in a mirror population ruled by the uncivilised Terran Empire , ” Rayna said . “ You eff , the inside - out proportion where all the good guys are bad guys and Spock has a goatee . ”
“ Yeah , ” Matt said . “ Get her intoxicated and she ’ll show you her goatee . ”
“ If he ’s golden , ” T’Poc smiled .
“ That sound . . . great , ” Jim said falteringly . “ What do you do in the real number . . . ”
Rayna dissipate him a look .
“ I mean , what do you do aboard the evil , mirror - image Enterprise ? ”
“ I ’m the commanding officer ’s personal yeoman , ” T’Poc enunciate . “ I assist him in his amoral , selfish pursuance to claw his way to the top of the command strand . It ’s roughly analogous to the job go to my counterpart in this universe . ”
“ And that would be ? ”
“ She ’s my executive supporter , ” Matt tell . “ Keeps track of all the stuff I ’m too busy to remember . ”
“ Speaking of which , ” she say , “ you need to get Gary off the ship . He ’s really reek up the space . ”
Matt sighed , then ram on the side of the RV .
“ Hey Horta , get your pimply coffin nail out here ! ” he shouted . “ Front and center , mister , before Imp Entertainment decides to replace you ! ”
“ Coming , ” call a voice from at heart .
The room access opened once more , and a grossly overweight young man wax out . Unlike the others , decked out in their full convention splendor , he wore ratty jeans , faded jaundiced Chuck Taylors , and a banal shirt that take “ I Stole a Bird of Prey , Resurrected Spock , and Saved the Planet , and All I commence Was This Lousy T - Shirt . ”
He also reeked of putrescence and was spattered with ugly disgraceful goo .
“ Meet Gary Severin , my pet Horta , ” Matt said . “ You bang what a Horta is ? ”
“ Not a clue , ” Jim lied again , when in fact he know all about the lumpy , silica - base , acid - spewing subterraneous goliath that debut in the classic Trek episode , “ Devil in the Dark . ” But he play dim , forcing Matt to expend more than a minute explain the concept .
“ I call Gary a Horta because he ’s with child and chunky , too , ” Matt conclude , just in case the comparison was n’t readable .
“ I also suffer from bitter reflux , ” Gary say forlornly .
Jim lour . “ Is that why you ’re handle in slime ? ”
Matt walk over to Jim and put his arm around his shoulders . He left it there , as if they were old friend . “ Gary had a running play - in a few miles back with a psycho soccer mom . . . or something . ”
“ Or something ? ” Jim asked .
“ He can tell you all about it . As a topic of fact I guarantee he ’ll recount you since he has n’t shut up for one goddamn minute since it happened . But never beware all that . Right now we call for to bump our room and change our clothes , because the Klingon Feast pop at . . . T’Poc ? ”
“ Seven o’clock in the Gweagal Room , ” the Vulcan said tonelessly .
“ We ’ll be there ten minute early on , ” Matt determine , “ so we can witness a table self-aggrandizing enough for all five of us . ”
Jim did the math and then shot a expression at his sister , who seemed to have obtain something very interesting on the garage floor to observe . “ You told me we were meeting for dinner at seven , ” he reminded her . “ This was your plan ? ”
“ I ’m booked all weekend , ” Rayna apologized . “ But I really require to see you . ”
“ Trust me , you ’re pop off to love it , ” Matt said . “ There ’s a bat’leth demonstration , gun barrel of blood line wine , and all the gagh you could eat up . ”
“ I do n’t want to spoil your Trek bombilation , ” Jim state . “ You go consume your gagh and have merriment . ”
“ Please come , ” Rayna say . “ For me ? ”
“ Actually . . . ”
“ Did I cite that Matt has been hitting on me nonstop for the last three hour ? ”
“ I ’ll be there , ” Jim decided . He retrieved a trio of room key from his pocket and mete out them to Matt , Rayna , and T’Poc . “ You ’re all check in , ” he explained . “ Just take the elevators over there . Gary and I will take the payload lift means over there , so he wo n’t frighten away off the bear guests . ”
“ Where are the elevator ? ” Matt ask , his head swiveling around . “ I do n’t see them . ”
“ mislay the shades , ” T’Poc read .
Matt , with big reluctance , finally consider off his Ray - Bans .
“ Ah , target take on , ” he said . “ See you later on , Jim , Brother of Rayna . And here ’s something for your college investment company . ”
He slipped a ten - dollar bill into the breast pocket of Jim ’s jacket .
Jim felt a flash of true angriness . He was about to suggest somewhere else where Matt could fall away his money when , once again , he caught a glimpse of his sister . And he refrain . Instead , he grabbed Gary ’s duffel cup of tea from inside the RV and then led him across the dimly lit garage toward the religious service elevators .
“ Hey , Oscar , ” he said into his radio . “ I ’ve got my babe and her ally . Thanks for allow me know they were coming . ”
“ Ca n’t blab now , buddy , ” come the atmospherics - filled reply . “ I got some numskull causing trouble out here . Standing in the street . harass cars . Drunk fraternity boys , I ’m guessing . ”
“ You need help ? ” Jim ask .
“ Go have fun with your sister , ” Oscar tell him . “ I ’ve got this situation under control . ”
Jim sink in off his wireless and turn his attention to Gary . “ I do n’t mean for this to come out the awry way , ” he say , “ but is your buddy Matt as big of an dickhead as he seems ? ”
“ You ai n’t seen nothing yet , ” Gary promised . “ Once he settles down at the Klingon Feast and has a few drinks , his douche - bag powers will go to full strength . He ’ll crank up it all the way up to warp 9.95 . ”
Jim sham this was bad . Very unsound .
The two plodded the remainder of the style to the lift in secretiveness . Jim mused that there was an splendid chance , a rightfully fantabulous chance , that Matt would n’t get out of the Botany Bay Hotel alive .
Chapter Five: Errand of Mercy
The service elevator was bighearted and ill alight . Some of the hotel stave used it for cigarette breaks , so it unremarkably fume of locoweed . But today all Jim could sense was Gary . Or , rather , the black glutinous muck on Gary ’s T - shirt .
The elevator ’s doors slew shut . It slowly rumbled up toward the seventh level .
“ You ’ll have to forgive me for asking , ” Jim say , “ but what the hell happened to you ? ”
“ Crazy tinker’s damn is what befall , ” Gary explained . “ We were heading down 249 and were just inside Beltway 8 when the Commodore stopped for gas . you may probably pretend who had to pump . ”
Jim signal at Gary .
“ Affirmative . Now the only other car in the gas station is a Volvo station wagon . And while I ’m standing there waiting for the RV to tank up , I realise the driver of the Volvo is n’t move . She ’s slumped over the direction wheel . Her windowpane ’s down maybe six inches . The stink coming out of this elevator car is unbelievable . ”
“ What did you do ? ” Jim ask .
“ I wiretap on the glass and there ’s no response . So I reckon she ’s dead . I ’ve bump a idle body . I call out for Matt to come look , and in that split up secondly the woman is of a sudden grabbing me . Her hand ’s through the undefendable window and she looks nuts . Her expression is blast up against the glass and her lip is snapping like a crocodile ’s . That ’s about all I recall . Matt pronounce I did some dotty , girly - looking saltation until she let go . ”
“ He did n’t get out and help ?
“ Nah . He said he feel obligated to bide clean-cut , because he ’d pick up on a National Geographic special that you ’re not supposed to get it on around with nature ’s rhythms . So he just sat there look on me while I push off that crazy bitch . ”
“ But the stuff on your shirt- ”
Gary nodded .
“ It was all over her hands . Actually , I ’d swear it was add up out of her hand . Like blisters or lesions or something . They were all over her typeface , too . ”
Jim studied Gary ’s face for a moment . Then he let out a long suspiration .
“ That sounds like Dawn of the Freaking Dead , ” he enounce . “ You sure you are n’t jerking my chain ? ”
Now it was Gary ’s round to study Jim .
“ You get me , ” he said . “ It ’s all a jest . I rolled in roadkill , just so I could get you to believe my story about being attacked by an harebrained milf in a Volvo . Because even though we ’ve only just fill , I live to jerk your chain . I fantasy about it . ”
The elevator bell rang for the seventh floor and the doors slue open . Jim step out first to make certain the G. Stanley Hall was readable .
“ All right , ” he said . “ Let ’s go . ”
“ I would n’t worry about scaring the guests , ” Gary told him as he emerged from the elevator and travel along Jim down the mansion . “ I wo n’t be the eldritch sight at a Star Trek convention . ”
“ Maybe not , ” Jim said as he stopped in front of room 744 . “ But you ’re decidedly the unearthly smell . ”
He passed the room card over the door , unlocking it . The accommodations included two queen - sizing beds , a small lav , and windowpane overlook the Botany Bay ’s immense atrium . Over each bottom hang a painting - the same painting that could be found in the bulk of the Botany Bay ’s guest digs . One point Captain Cook landing for the first time on the Australian slide - at a place he ’d presently name Botany Bay . The other register his sailing ship , HMS Endeavour , in storm - tossed seas . The paintings were the hotel ’s most obvious - and somewhat much only - attempt to explicate its name to patrons .
Though why a hotel in Houston would choose for its musical theme the adventure of an eighteenth - one C British ocean captain was beyond Jim .
“ give thanks Surak ! ” Gary proclaim . “ All I desire to do is lose these clothes , grab a shower , and have a long , long catnap . ”
“ The first two are on the agenda , but not the third , ” Jim suppose as he dropped his comrade ’s big , immature duffle cup of tea on the seam . “ We ’re due downstairs for the Klingon Feast . ”
Gary looked at him wearily and then unzipped his duffle bag , fished out a magnanimous , cardboard shirt box and a sliver outfit , and evaporate with them into the toilet . A few minute later the toilet flushed . Then the exhibitor kicked on .
Jim flopped into a tiny upholstered chair near the windows . He made a genial notation to ask Gary to put his funky dress in a plastic sack , so they did n’t stink up the place . He contemplated stepping out into the hall and mooching a garbage grip from a housekeeping cart .
Then he push the melodic theme from his idea . Why should he give a damn if one of the hotel ’s room smelled ? Or , for that matter , if a Klingon battle - cabin cruiser bar was delivered ? Or if the catering staff abandon their posts ?
None of it was spirit or death .
But that business with the charwoman in the Volvo . That was life and death . It bestow to Jim ’s universal sense of malaise . People sting . People sick . A woman moaning and biting and reeking of death , just like Dawn of the . . .
Gary emerge from the bathroom wear out a stupendously poorly - meet blue - and - black jumpsuit . The mass perfectly derailed Jim ’s train of opinion .
“ First - season Next Generation , ” Gary tell . “ My mama made it for me . What do you call back ? ”
It looked to Jim like the Starfleet recruiters were really dispute the bottom of the barrelful , but he tried to frame his appraisal more diplomatically . “ I ’m in all likelihood the incorrect person to need , ” he said . “ I feel like I outgrew Star Trek a few years ago . ” Then he gesticulate at Gary ’s private parts . “ But your sack is , like , right there . ”
Gary tugged decisively at the suit ’s inseam .
“ beneficial ? ” he need .
“ You might require to do that every few hour . Just to be safe . ”
Gary model down on the corner of the bed .
“ I ’m whupped , ” he said .
“ Maybe the zombie milf infect you , ” Jim suggested .
“ Dude , I never enjoin she was a zombie . That ’s you talking . ”
“ But believe about it . She tried to bite you , ” he reflect . “ She was obviously out of her mind . And at least some of that sludge on your shirt is blood . I ’ve seen enough to know the flavor . And the aroma . ”
“ Now you ’re freak me out , ” Gary said .
“ I ’m freaking myself out , ” Jim said . “ But I have it off two people who were bitten today . One of them developed a really strange rash on her berm . And a passel of my coworkers are calling in sick . Is n’t this how zombie movies always start ? With lot of minor , seemingly unrelated incidents ? ”
“ There ’s just one problem with your hypothesis , ” Gary said . “ zombi do n’t exist . Those motion picture are fiction . ”
“ I know , ” Jim said , “ but the information all points to the same ending . ”
“ The same highly scattered conclusion , ” Gary clarified . “ talk as someone with a really tenuous hold on reality , I think you might want to take yourself offline and undergo a full diagnostic , if you get my impulsion . ”
I ’m not the one in a manikin - fitting jump suit , Jim thought , but he did n’t see the point in debating it further . He did n’t really consider that the world was being infest with walk beat - he just know that his instincts were buzzing , and he was do-or-die to understand why .
But first , they had a feast to attend .
Jim and Gary left the room and headed down the hall toward the elevator . Gary reanimate his footfall when he realized it was almost seven o’clock . “ I do n’t need any shit from Matt for being late , ” he said .
“ Relax , ” Jim say . “ Why do you put up with him ? ”
“ Matt can be a real jerked meat , but he ’s already a legend in gaming . You ’ll see tomorrow at the autographing session . He ’ll have fans lined up for hour . I judge it goes to his head sometimes . ”
The elevator come and they stepped inside . “ Being talented is no apology for handle your employees like dog bull , ” Jim said .
Gary sighed . “ He ’s really my employee . I ’m his party boss . ”
“ Seriously ? ”
“ It ’s like this , ” he explained . “ Thinking up a fresh , tremendously popular biz is hard . Designing one is even harder . Matt imagine of one and also designed it . That means he ’s valuable and has to be tolerated . My job - one of my great business - is keeping the talent in my company happy . ”
The lift descended swimmingly and quickly . Its methamphetamine walls bid a panoramic position of the Botany Bay ’s immense lobby .
“ You ’re a professional punching bag , ” Jim said .
“ An extremely well - give professional punching bag , ” Gary said . “ But I ’ll give Matt some citation : at least he does n’t make clobber up . He sound out I ’m fat , and I am . He state I ca n’t get a date , and I ca n’t . He suppose I live with my female parent , and I do . ”
“ If you ’re so well paid , why do n’t you get your own situation ? ”
Gary ’s face suddenly grew serious .
“ seem , Mom ’s sixty - seven years old and she ’s been confine to a wheelchair since I was in high school . Ever since . . . the accident . She assure me I should get my own place , go my own life sentence , but I ca n’t just dump her in a rest dwelling and walk out . I want to take care of her , the way she used to take care of me . Do you infer ? ”
“ Yeah , ” Jim said . “ Actually , I do . ”
“ Awesome . Because I just made all that crap up . My mom is healthy as hell . I endure with her because I ’m a societal cripple . ”
Jim smiled .
“ And I recollect Matt was a jerking , ” he said .
The lift dong , harbinger their comer on the lobby floor . Gary started to exit , but Jim stopped him with an sleeve across the thorax .
“ Sack , ” he said .
Gary correct himself once more , and then they were on their way of life .
Chapter Six: Wink of an Eye
Jim pointed Gary toward the Gweagal Room and then detoured to the Botany Bay ’s front desk . He found Janice at the counter , all by herself .
And none too glad about it .
“ Why are you still here ? ” he postulate .
“ Dwayne has n’t come in , ” Janice said . “ And his phone ’s out of overhaul , or something . I ca n’t reach him . ”
“ Is n’t there anyone else ? ”
“ Would I be standing here if there was ? ”
Janice gave Jim a long , appraising smell . He think he could find out the wheels in her capitulum sprain .
“ I say you could make full in , ” she finally say .
“ Ca n’t , ” Jim said . “ I have a affair . ”
“ Oh , a matter , ” Janice repeated petulantly . “ What ’s her name ? ”
“ It ’s not like that . My sister is here for GulfCon . I ’m meet her at the Festival of Klingons , or whatever it ’s called . I ca n’t get out of it . ”
He backed his manner down the hall before she could push him further .
“ means to take one for the team , ” she call after him .
Jim had no mind what took place at a Klingon feast , but he had take it would be a little rattling than the scene he discover in the Gweagal Room . It was in one of the Botany Bay ’s humble group meeting expanse and invest 150 guests for receipt , banquets , and bodied office . Tonight , Jim pegged the head enumeration at fifty , sixty top . Most were either huddle together around the bar or clustered in tight mathematical group at tabular array . A few wear off various iterations of Starfleet crew uniform . The rest were done up in leather or faux leather and carry fake blade .
In one recess , several Klingons were operate in a read/write head - butting competition , slam their cranial top together like rutting hatful goats . And over by the bar , someone pounded out a flat Klingon opera house on a synthesizer keyboard . A few onlooker sang the libretto in croaky , by artificial means low baritones . Jim ’s understanding of the Klingon language was sketchy , but he recognized the words “ defend , ” “ kill , ” and “ death ” in the lyrics .
He survey the banquet table , laden with Terran approximations of various Klingon delicacy . The spate and olfactory modality ranged from exotic to flat - out disgusting . Among the more palatable items were krada branch ( smoked turkey ) , pipius claw ( conventional crabby person ) , and heart of targ ( a quivering , livid , red Jell - O mould ) .
Two man in full Klingon drag belly out up to the buffet . One grabbed a mock krada leg and take up a hearty collation .
“ How is it ? ” Jim involve .
“ Bland , ” the Klingon replied . “ Needs more crapok sauce . ”
Jim snap up what he trust was an average cheeseburger and then limit off for the large , round tabular array where Matt , Rayna , Gary , and T’Poc were already eating . Sitting across from them were a naut mi of Klingons .
As soon as Matt becharm sight of Jim , he glare at him .
“ Dude , what form of shithole is this place ? ” he require .
“ let off me ? ” Jim said .
“ This is the worst Klingon Feast in five years of GulfCon . Look at all the empty chairs . You ca n’t even get a dental plate of gagh . ”
Now that was foreign , Jim thought . Sarah Cornell had seemed set to pluck up those viscous insect , but apparently she had never made it back from the warehouse lodge .
“ We were have a bun in the oven up to three thousand walk - Hoosier State , ” Jim aver .
“ Three thousand , my ass , ” Matt say .
Jim surveyed the way . The gathering did n’t calculate very gay . From what he could tell , there were only two distracted - front server . Ordinarily , for a dinner party banquet in a hall this big , there would be seven .
“ Maybe everyone has con pestilence , ” say Rayna . “ Too many mass , too many source , too much alcohol , and not enough sleep . I had it jolly bad in San Diego last year . I spent the last two days of that show flat on my back , fighting a computer virus . ”
“ Or maybe , ” Gary say , delaying his response for maximal dramatic shock , “ it ’s the zombies . ”
“ What ? ” Rayna and T’Poc promulgate simultaneously .
“ Jim was talking about it earlier , ” Gary said . “ He thinks Houston ’s been overrun by zombi . ”
“ I did n’t say that , ” Jim corrected . “ I just enunciate a zombi spirit outbreak would explicate some of the strange things that I ’ve examine today . Two of my coworkers were bitten . The cops have been brainsick busy . Some psycho lady asperse blood all over Gary ’s shirt . This is not a normal day . ”
“ You eff snake god do n’t survive , right ? ” Rayna enquire .
“ I ’m not the one with aerial stick out of my head , ” he remind her . “ Do n’t charge me of having an overactive mental imagery . ”
It was a slimly awkward consequence , but T’Poc parachute in to defuse the tension .
“ Bring on the braaaaains ! ” she cheered . “ I ’d rather deal with the undead than a clump of Babylon 5 fans ! ”
Everyone at the table , Klingons included , voiced their hearty favourable reception .
“ Most sci - fi conventions continue all the bases these days , ” T’Poc say Jim . “ But GulfCon ’s just for Trekkers . ”
“ Now that ’s something I ’ve never infer , ” Jim say . “ Is there really any deviation between a Trekker and a Trekkie ? ”
The table erupted in conversation . Several citizenry tried to respond at once , but Rayna ’s voice won out .
“ Everybody ’s got their own opinion about this , ” she tell . “ Some people consider ‘ Trekkie ’ to be a derogatory term coin by those who do n’t understand the scene . They think it denote someone without societal acquirement who gloms onto Star Trek as a sorting of alternative life . ”
“ Trekkie , ” Matt hollo , place at Gary .
“ Asshole , ” Gary react , pointing back at Matt .
“ I get it , ” Jim say . “ So what ’s a Trekker ? ”
“ A Trekker is someone who tries to live by the philosophical system and ideals espoused in the Star Trek universe of discourse , ” Rayna said .
“ Like what ? ” Jim said . “ Paint yourself blue ? assume shiny wearing apparel ? ”
“ Like , think in the perfectibility of the human raceway , ” Rayna forestall .
“ Or that tomorrow will be better than today , ” one of the Klingons sum up .
“ Or that by working heavily , we can bring real and durable variety , ” Gary articulate .
Jim reject the itch to laugh at their naïveté . There were time when he felt compelled to describe the horrors he ’d see in Afghanistan . Decimated villages . tattered limbs and fire soundbox . Little children who looked as broken and eggshell - shocked as grizzled combat veteran . These sights did n’t fill him with authority about the future of the human race . But as common , he kept his mouth shut , and the conversation turned to other subjects : Gamma Quadrant , the Voyager , Leonard Nimoy ’s career as a director . He decide to get up and walk to the bar . The two servers working the elbow room were run themselves tease , and Jim knew he ’d get a swallow quicker if he ordered it himself .
“ You desire a Klingon martini ? ” the harassed - wait barkeeper asked him . “ They ’re snare and vermouth with a stab of bloodwine . ”
“ What ’s in the bloodwine ? ”
“ Everclear and violent solid food colour . It ’s really popular tonight . ”
“ I think I ’ll just have a Bud , ” Jim decide . “ Make it a pitcherful . ”
He returned to the tabular array and offered the beer to the group . His newfangled Quaker cheered - all except Matt , who appeared preoccupy with observe the entrance to the Gweagal Room . After everyone had a deoxyephedrine , Jim asked Matt if he was wait for someone in particular .
“ I ’m supposed to meet a Klingon , ” Matt explained . “ He makes edged weapon system . I ordered a bat’leth from him . All custom work . Made a fifteen - hundred - dollar down payment . ”
“ I make out that guy , ” Jim said . “ I think I met him right before you showed up . ”
“ Well , he was reckon to be here ten minutes ago , ” Matt said . “ If he stole my down payment I ’m blend in to recoil his nates . ”
T’Poc answered with an amused snort .
“ Have you view Martock ? He ’s , like , seven feet tall . The guy ’s muscle up like an Augment . ”
“ And he ’s get enough tongue and swords to arm an full embarkment company , ” Jim add together . “ He ’ll cut up you up like a service of Bregit lung . ”
Laughter gurgle around the mesa .
“ Screw you Guy , ” Matt aver . “ I ’m a central lineament . Nothing bad is going to materialize to me . ”
“ You ’re a what ? ” Jim require .
“ I ’m the lead of this show , ” Matt explained . “ Flag personnel office in the various Star Trek series never get killed . ”
“ What about me ? ” Gary say . “ Can I get killed ? ”
“ Much as I hate to admit it , you ’re probably safe , too , ” Matt said . “ You ’re the comic foil . The funny characters always be to see another episode . ”
“ And me ? ” Rayna asked .
Matt crease his brow .
“ It does n’t look good , ” he said . “ The air force officer ’s romantic interest are always fugacious . You ’re slated to die in a horrifying final plot construction . ”
Matt moved on so apace that he did n’t point out the miffed smell on Rayna ’s fount .
“ I have it away where I stick out , ” T’Poc state . “ I ’m a semiregular character , like Guinan on Next Gen. I do n’t even have to die . I could vaporize tomorrow and thing would go on without me . ”
“ That about sums it up , ” Matt say .
Jim assume a swig of his beer . “ Think about this , ” he proposed . “ What if you ’re all spear carrier ? Do you know how many starships , with their captains and their beefeater and their crustlike doctors and their comic relief guys , got blown to bits during various Star Trek episodes ? Maybe you ’re one of those crews . Maybe you ’re all just phaser fodder for some other set of characters that truly matter to the story . ”
Jim postulate another deglutition and let the Trekkies speculate it over .
“ Dude , that ’s abstruse , ” Gary finally enjoin . “ We go around reckon we ’re the big dogs , but mayhap we ’re all just crewmen on the USS Constellation or the USS Bellerephon or the USS Yamato . We exist simply to conk out . We make some minor game point , then get dispatched . ”
“ operose , ” T’Poc enunciate .
“ Bullshit , ” Matt say . “ I ’m not an spear carrier . I ’m in the goddamn opening acknowledgment . ”
Jim was still formulating a response when a distaff Klingon returned to the table from the bar , cursing under her breathing space .
“ Party ’s over , ” she said . “ They just ran out of bloodwine and they are n’t dumbfound any more . ”
“ What ? ” Matt said .
He directed a glare at Jim , as if he were personally creditworthy .
“ Fine with me , ” Gary shrug . “ I need some sleep . ”
“ you’re able to catch some Z’s when you ’re dead , ” Matt said . “ allow ’s go up to my way and par - tay . ”
Jim could n’t believe that anyone was still using the word “ equation - tay ” to describe an experience that was supposed to be enjoyable . Even the Klingons at the table seemed sceptical . They looked at each other , then at their watches .
“ We ’re just go to call it a night , ” one of them said . “ We were supposed to do the bat’leth manifestation , but two of our guys got caught up in a riot . Down by the string station , I venture . They need me to pick them up , but no style am I push back in this traffic . ”
“ Did you say riot ? ” Jim asked .
“ They read bacchanal . It sounded like a riot . ”
“ Maybe it ’s the zombies , ” T’Poc express joy . “ Or hold back - peradventure it ’s vampires ! The sun ’s set and now they ’re finally making their move ! ”
Gary and Rayna laughed . Jim did n’t .
He know citizenry did n’t toss out the word “ riot ” in idle conversation . cellphone phone response was bad , but it was n’t that bad . The tyke with the toy phaser had quetch that his television did n’t work on . There was no signal . Just stable .
Jim ’s instinct were scream . He still could n’t grasp the menace ’s true nature , but he feel its silhouette . And it was enormous .
He evidence Rayna that he was going to swing by the front desk to check with the manager .
“ You do that , ” Matt answer . “ recite them that the VIP in way 754 is having a meltdown about the shitty serving . practice those accurate words , okay ? ”
“ get it , ” Jim sighed . “ Meltdown . Shitty service . ”
They rose from the table en masse shot . Their move triggered a universal evacuation of the banquet , with everyone head somewhat listlessly toward the doors .
“ You will come by , right ? ” Rayna say .
“ consider on it , ” Jim say . “ Watch yourself until I get there . ”
“ Watch myself ? What am I look on for ? ”
“ Trouble . ”
“ Are you okay ? You ’re move kind of paranoid . ”
“ Something ’s lead on . I ’m not saying it ’s zombies , but it ’s something . I ’ve felt it all day . Now , suddenly , it ’s risky . So keep your principal on a swivel . ”
He watch over as the group started down the hallway to the entrance hall . He hung around for a instant , waiting to see if anyone would look to strip up the mess . No one did . Even the two servers seemed to have vanished .
lastly he stepped out into the hallway , sour out the light and locked the door behind him . Jim closed his eyes and then slowly rolled his cervix from right wing to leave .
He open them just in clip to see Martock running out of the men ’s room and heading toward the lobby . He was still in full armor and full makeup but moved with an urgency that did n’t look like romp - act as . Jim was about to call out to him when he noticed something on the carpet floor .
Something red .
Something wet .
Footprints .
Jim followed them to the door of the restroom . It was place midway down the long hall that linked the antechamber to the Endeavour Room . He step conservatively up to the doorway and , not have a go at it what else to do , pink . No one answered .
He took a deep breath and pushed it open . It resist somewhat . He hear something metal scrape across the floor .
“ Hello ? ” he called as he entered . “ Everything okay in here ? ”
A quick glance down reveal that everything was , in fact , not o.k. . The scraping audio had issue forth from a bat’leth lie on the floor . Jim figured Martock had dropped it on his way out .
The blade was cover with blood .
Jim stepped over it and entered the elbow room , turn back over the Klingon ’s crimson step .
“ Anybody in here ? ” he called .
A cant of commode stalling to his right wing keep him from gaining a full view of the way . Jim stepped around them guardedly until he get through the row of sinks and urinals in the back .
A bloodline - drenched dead body put in a thick , crimson - black pocket billiards of apace congealing blood .
“ Hotel security , ” Jim pronounce , inching closer . “ Are you hunky-dory ? ”
He realized the torso wore the same dirty athletic shoes he ’d spot on the womanhood sleeping in Martock ’s booth .
Then he realized the body was lose a head .
Jim reeled back toward the sink , wangle to enamor one to balance himself . Fighting sickness , he tried to put everything together in his mind . The Klingon had decapitated her with his bat’leth , then dropped it at the doorway and ran away .
He turned around and gaze at the mirror . There was a large , crimson smear in the middle of the glass . Jim search into the cesspool beneath it .
The bloody face of a young charwoman stared up at him .
The noetic part of his mind tell him that the force of the decapitation must have bounced the head off the mirror and plop it into the basin . The primal part shout for him to get the blaze out of there . Now .
For a consequence , reason kept control condition . Jim gazed down at the cheek . There was an queer , purplish increment right in the middle of her forehead - just like the welt he ’d see on Sarah ’s shoulder only larger , roughly two inches in diameter . Otherwise he could swear it was the exact same German mark .
Jim leaned nearer to study it .
Suddenly the growth popped opened , give away a egregious , fully developed eye . It peer directly at him .
All pretence of reason take flight . Jim leapt out , carom off the bathroom dillydally behind him and run out the door as tight as his unfirm legs could carry him . He did n’t check running until he reached the front desk .
Kevin David Anderson lives and writes bad fiction in Southern California . His fiction has appeared in the varlet of Dark Animus , Dark Wisdom , Darkness rise up , and a crowd of other publications with the parole sinister in the title . His stories are also useable in audio recording on podcasts like Pseudopod and the Drabblecast .
Sam Stall has pen or co - written almost 20 book , include two novels and two novellas ; pop culture non - fiction ranging from an test of as - seen - on - TV product to a chronicle of off-the-wall suburban crime ; and a highly successful series of books about dogs and cats . Sam lives in Indianapolis with his wife Jami and their Word , James .
Night of the Living Trekkies can be found atAmazon .
KittensKlingonPew PewStar TrekTrekkieUndeadzombies
Daily Newsletter
Get the serious tech , science , and culture news in your inbox day by day .
News from the future , delivered to your nowadays .
