In 1989 , skill fable authorLarry Nivenpublished a collection of unretentive write up and essay under the titleN - SPACE . Included in the collection was a list of observance on how the Universe works . He anticipate the observations Niven ’s police force .
Niven has tweaked these laws over the age by contribute , eliminate and adapt line items when he thought it necessary . One of the most recent revisionswas publish in 2002 . Here , with Niven ’s permit , is an updated version of that list ( he ’s asked us to replace routine 4 ) .
To the best I ’ve been able-bodied to tell in fifty yr of observation , this is how the Universe works . I go for I did n’t impart anything out .
1a . Never contrive shit at an armed man .
1b . Never stand next to someone who is throw shit at an armed gentleman’s gentleman . You would n’t think anyone would need to be tell this . Does anyone commemorate the Democratic National Convention of 1968 ?
2 . Never fire a optical maser at a mirror .
3 . Mother Nature does n’t give care if you ’re having fun . Please mention : You will not be bar ! There are things you ca n’t do because your metamorphosis expend oxidation of scratch , or you ’re made of meat , or you ’re a mammal , or homo . Funny chemicals will kill you dense or agile , or deflower your brain … or sustain your living , if you ’re careful . You ca n’t aviate like an bird of Jove , nor yet like Daedalus , but you could vanish with a hang glider , or bait through the sky in something like a cramp living room . There are even solution to jet slowdown . you could shaft . Nature does n’t manage , but do n’t get entrance .
4 . F × S = k. The product of Freedom and Security is a constant quantity . To gain more freedom of thought and/or action , you must give up some security , and vice versa . These remark lend oneself to individuals , nations , and civilizations . Notice that the constant G is different for every civilisation and different for every individual . I ’ve lost faith in point four . Never give up your exemption .
5 . Psi and/or magic power , if real , are nearly useless . Over the lifetime of the human species we would otherwise have done something with them .
6 . It is easy to ruin than make . If human being did n’t have a strong preference for creation , nothing would get progress .
7 . Any damn fool can predict the past . general are notable for this , and certain writer too .
8 . History never repeats itself .
9 . Ethics alteration with technology .
10 . Anarchy is the least static of social structure . It falls apart at a touch .
11 . There is a time and a position for tact . ( And there are times when tact is entirely misplaced . )
12 . The ways of being human are bound but myriad .
13 . The world ’s dullest subjects , in order :
a. Somebody else ’s diet.b . How to make money for a worthy cause.c . particular - Interest Liberation .
14 . The only universal substance in scientific discipline fiction : There exist intellect that think as well as you do , but differently . Niven ’s corollary : The gene - tamper dud you ’re speak to need not be one of them .
15 . Niven ’s Law for musician : If the applause was n’t gimcrack than the medicine , something ’s wrong . Play well or softer .
16 . Fuzzy Pink Niven ’s Law : Never waste calories . Potato chips , candy , or hot fudge ice-cream sundae consumption may ask you , your doc , your wardrobe , and other factors . But Fuzzy Pink ’s Law implies :
Do n’t eat soggy Irish potato cow chip . Or cheap confect . Or an deficient hot fudge ice-cream sundae . Or a cold soggy pizza .
17 . There is no cause so good that one can not incur a gull follow it . This one ’s deserving noticing . At the first High Frontier Convention , the minds assembled were among the best in the reality , and I could n’t find a conversation that did n’t teach me something . But the only newspersons I run across were interview the only handicapped somebody among us . To prove a point , one may seek out a foolish communist , thirteenth - hundred liberal , Scientologist , High Frontier advocate , Mensa member , science fiction fan , gamer , Christian , or fanatical fan of Special - Interest Lib — but that does n’t really reflect on the lawsuit itself . Ad hominem arguments save time , but it ’s still a fallacy .
18 . No proficiency works if it is n’t used . If that sounds simplistic , take care at some specifics : distinguish friends about your dieting wo n’t make you slight . Buying a diet cookbook wo n’t either . Even reading the recipe wo n’t do it . Knowing about Alcoholics Anonymous , bet up the phone number , even jotting it on literal paper , wo n’t make you sober . purchase weight does n’t give you muscles . sign up a slice of composition wo n’t make missiles disappear , even if you make lots of copies and tell every anchor on worldly concern . Endlessly studying designs for spacecraft wo n’t put anything into orbit . And so forth . But you surely know someone who tried it that way , and maybe you ’re one yourself .
19 . Not responsible for advice not take .
Larry Nivenis the author ofRingworld , the co - author ofThe Mote in God ’s EyeandLucifer ’s Hammer , the editor ofThe Man - Kzin Wars serial , and has written or co - author over 50 books . He is a five - clock time succeeder of the Hugo Award , along with a Nebula and numerous others .
Top Image : the cover to Larry Niven ’s The Smoke Ring byMichael Whelan .
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