The first affair I believe of when I hear aboutDumb Starbuckswas the motion-picture show Idiocracy .
Joe : Man , I could really go for a Starbucks , you know?Frito : Yeah , well , I really do n’t conceive we have time for a hand job , Joe .
In one of the most skeweringly reasoning motion picture of the last 10 years , Mike Judge rebranded Starbucks Coffee as “ alien Coffee for Men , ” offering “ full body caffe latte ” for only $ 50,000 . It was n’t really a dig at Starbucks per se;most of the corporations in Idiocracy ’s future have become sex - focused(FedExxx , Home Deep - Buckeye State ) , which , in a way , was altogether preposterous , but also felt weirdly plausible .
At first , Dumb Starbucksoffered a real - life hepatic portal vein into that mocking , satiric universe , a chance to ego - knowingly wink at our venti decaf salt caramel mocha frappuccino - take in lifestyles . Dumb Starbucks and its Dumb Americanos and its Dumb Nora Jones [ sic ] CDs would shine a mirror on our outrageous means with this caricature of a imitation of a imitation of a coffee berry workshop .
http://gawker.com/dumb-starbucks-coffee-store-opens-in-california-1519311411
For two days , not fuck who was behind it , Angelenos daydream . We waited in demarcation for four hours . We dutifully Instagrammed the facade . We got emails from our parents in the midwest , asking what it was all about . We hoped and believe there was a brainy explanation .
percentage point made . It ’s not Starbucks that ’s dumb . It is us . MT@Sam_SchaeferMore than an time of day to get into@dumbstarbucks.pic.twitter.com/GMDOh3Fim5
— Michael Schneider ( @franklinavenue)February 10 , 2014
But it was not the Yes Men , providing scathing social commentary on the chain ’s policies . It was not a well - executed student undertaking about copyright and trademark police force . It was not a carefully orchestrated furtherance for the L.A.-based chocolate party Tonx , which has beencleverly honoring Starbucks gift cardsto purchase their java . It was not , as we ’d really hop , a visit from Banksy , putting us once again in the outside street art spotlight . It was not James Franco . It was not even the oeuvre ofanother creative person who “ claimed ” the projecta few hours before the real Almighty stepped onward .
It was simply acomedianwho wanted to do something funny to promote his show .
The most cogent moment in the whole trial by ordeal was during the pressure league with firebrand Nathan Fielder ( wear out a light-green Dumb Starbucks apron ) , when a newsman assay to remove her microphone and leave early .
This was not really the ending we wanted .
Almost 24 hour after Dumb Starbucks had been shut down by the wellness section , two dozen people stood in the parking mickle pose for picture and peer in the shop ’s tint windows . A security measure safeguard seat in a shut down chair , speaking ambiguously about the project to the curious crowds . “ It got shut down . ” “ It was really popular . ”
Inside , three the great unwashed stood hold what appear like a serious conversation near the conclusion of a convincing facsimile Starbucks counter while two young men swept the floor .
A youthful girlfriend wearing a large neon - colored helmet maneuvered her scooter onto the pavement , train by a woman wearing exercise clothes and a push that read “ Ask me how I lose weight ! ” The girl rolled her scooter along the shopfront , intrigued by the view . “ Why ca n’t we go in , mommy ? ” “ I approximate it ’s shut , ” say mom , sustain with the security measures precaution . When the mamma suggested it was time to leave , the little girl protrude to whine . “ I want to go in . ”
One couple seemed to be in a hurry . They spent no more than a minute taking photograph , then quickly get back into their auto and pull out of their parking place . Another motorcar was already waiting to take their spot . Three people got out and took picture with their phones . When they got back into their car , another car was waiting .
Next threshold to Dumb Starbucks is an Armenian market with few labels in English and a surprising array of sweet green goods . I asked the teller if they ’d had an uptick in sales over the weekend , assume that they ’d seen some overflow business organisation due to the long contrast . “ No , not at all , ” the cleaning woman say , shake her head . “ It was less . People could n’t get into the parking quite a little . ” I had n’t thought of that . Did they even admonish the other businesses in the strip mall , like a film shoot would have done ? “ No , nothing , ” she said . I bought some bananas . Behind her , a Dumb Starbucks cup sit down atop their own coffee tree roaster , with a handwritten sign promote French Roast beans for $ 4.99 a pound .
I betray back outdoors just as a military personnel with dour curly hair’s-breadth parade up to Dumb Starbucks ’ door with purpose and pull the handle towards him . It opened ! A few of us glanced around at each other ; it had been overt the whole time ! One of the cleanse piece with a broom tried to jam him from entering . “ We ’re closed , sorry . ” The man tugged at the door insistently , saying , “ I ’m the broker . ” The houseclean man shook his header : “ We ’re not open . ” The man barricade and looked at him . “ I ’m the real estate broker . ” The adult male with the broom let the agent in and locked the door behind him .
No one else gained access while I was there . Still , they kept trying , a few people every few minutes . Some left very disappointed . “ Is it closed ? ” “ Oh man ! ” “ Why is it shut ? ”
Others knew there was nothing to see , but they still wanted to see .
At first , I reckon I should be grateful for Dumb Starbucks . It get global attending to my locality . It unify our universe around one conversation , which does n’t happen that often .
But in a way I felt betray : It could have been so much better .
When I look at the parody firebrand in Idiocracy , the level of intellection that went into each and every logo and tagline is really impressive . The details are so good conceive that they hit us where it wound : properly in our bloated , over - commercialized intestine .
Not that Fielder is n’t a mirthful guy ( we credibly should have all guessed the gentleman’s gentleman who create apoo - flavor yogurtwas behind these antic ) . But even compared to some of his TV show plots , this thought packed none of that punch . He was on Jimmy Kimmel last Nox deadpanning once again that he was wholly serious about his shop and was working with the health section to get the business reopened . I was totally rooting for this level of commitment .
But this was n’t really honest . By 4:00 p.m. on Tuesday , decently around when Fielder was taping Kimmel , the signage was dismantled and remove . It was over .
We are a metropolis that is used to being punked . We invented the hide - camera show in all its various iteration . Our street are fulfil with production crews and film bookman snoop jest . We love laughing at ourselves . But this one did n’t live up to our eminent standards . We deserve better . All those multitude establish up , hours after Dumb Starbucks closed ? We were expecting more .
It did n’t really matter . A few mile aside , another stunt had caught our care . Shia LeBeouf sat in a gallery issuingpublic apologieswhile crying and wearing a paper grip over his head .
People werelined up around the block , expect for the punchline .
CitiesStarbucksurbanism
Daily Newsletter
Get the best tech , science , and finish news show in your inbox day by day .
news show from the future , deliver to your present .
Please select your desire newssheet and submit your email to upgrade your inbox .
You May Also Like
