Doomsday: Total Nonsense — But Awesome!

There are Serbian Canis familiaris - food commercial message that would have made more sense to me than Doomsday , the quarantined - country - reverts - to - barbarism epic that opens today . It starts out as an piquant activity - repugnance blend with a nice soupcon of succeeding dystopia ( and huge servings of gore ) , and then slow unravels until the ending is basically pure Dada . We just check it . sink in through for the whole brain - shredding carnage [ despoiler in advance ] .

I remark the other day that Doomsday was n’t screen for critics , and it ’s soft to see why . I had to go see the first establish at our local dramatics , which was at noon — precisely 12 hours too ahead of time for this sort of moving picture . If you do n’t care about logic , or story , or fiber , or pretty much anything except for seeing a hot woman dismember people in a tanktop — punctuated by some really , really over the top musical segments — then you ’ll love this picture . It ’s not Shakespeare . It ’s not even Shakespeare In Love . But it ’s better than Aliens vs. Predator : Requiem , the last film on this level that I saw .

Here ’s the plot in a nutshell : in April 2008 , a deadly computer virus ( The Reaper ) breaks out in Glasgow and circulate like wildfire . The authorities decide , in a very 28 week Later sequence , to quarantine the res publica and shoot down down anybody who hear to get out . But then , 30 years later , a deeply dystopian and slummy London sparks a novel outbreak of the virus ( which feeds off poorness and overcrowding ) . The government beam a team up to Scotland to find out why some people pull through the virus up there , led by Rhona Mitra ’s super - ranger . Unfortunately , the last survivors of Scotland have fallen into total barbarism .

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Doomsday make headway me over the second I figure Rhona Mitra ’s obliterable eye . Rhona play Eden Sinclair , who lose an eye as a small girl during the final evacuation of Scotland . When we see her as an grownup , she has a prosthetic eye , with a tiny camera inside . The camera goes to a video cover ( and digital recorder ) in her wrist watch . So she can take her eye out and use it to look around corner , or make secret recordings of whatever she sees . It ’s really the only scifi - ish thing in the pic , but the first time we see it in action is ( distressing ) literally eye - popping .

And I ’m well-chosen to report that despite all director Neil Marshall ( The Descent)’stalkabout Mitra ’s character “ keeping her femininity , ” she ’s a entire hard - ass who does n’t give a turd about anything . We see passel of scenes of her being a gaga defective - ass and not giving a tinker’s dam , but just in typeface we miss it , Marshall has several graphic symbol look at her and say things like , “ You do n’t give a motherfucker , do you ? ” Right at the starting signal of the movie , there ’s a dandy scene where her boss , played by Bob Hoskins , smokes with her and tells her that if she keep going like this , she ’ll wind up one seriously fucked - up individual . Good to know , Bob . ( The great joy of Hoskins these days is keep an eye on him slowly morph into Ed Asner . ) She does shout out once , right at the end , but it ’s brief and actually appropriate under the circumstances .

http://io9.com/365734/doomsdays-neil-marshall-explains-apocalypses-without-monsters

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The movie is massively over the top from the first few minutes , with a rip spattering slaughter at the new Great Wall of Scotland , and then a sequence where Mitra ’s character takes a bunch of random bad guys . ( There ’s a naked woman in the bathing tub , so of grade she has a scattergun with her . Who would n’t ? ) And it just gets crazier and crazier .

Inside Scotland , there are two group of survivor . The first , in Glasgow , have turned to cannibalism and really excessive gothpunk way . If you do n’t take joy in watching the blonde - mohawked leader of a cannibal kinship group saltation around to the Fine Young Cannibals , with two magnetic pole dancers in fishnet flanking him , then there ’s just no delight in you . I ’m serious . The cannibal leader does a dance routine to Fine Young Cannibals . And then they roast a member of Mitra ’s team alive and eat him with their bare hired man .

The other group of subsister , up northerly , is led by Malcolm McDowell . And here ’s where the movie just slides correctly off the runway . McDowell plays a scientist who was in Glasgow working on a therapeutic for the plague when the country was closed off . And now somehow he ’s turned into the king of a castling , full of people in fake knightly garb . It ’s an integral beau monde for Creative Anachronism culture . And McDowell ’s scientist character reanimate the Spanish inquisition and accuses Mitra of “ sinfulness ” by having brought the outside world to his castle . ( McDowell tries to trick his follower into thinking the rest of the world is dead — but does n’t seem that worried about showing off Mitra and her crew to his followers , even though they ’re grounds the rest of the mankind is ok . )

Lesdilley

The last Scottish reel , when Mitra finds a mint - condition Bentley automobile in a fallout shelter , and manages to fill the tank with gas , is just outre . There ’s literally a mo where everybody involved seems to determine that if you ’ve watched this far , you ’re in for the whole ride , and there ’s no point in trying to make sense any more . I do n’t lie with if I should spoil the end of the moving picture totally , but it succumb to full dementedness . I ’m not an epidemiologist , but I ’m a tad disconnected as to how Mitra ’s “ cure ” for the disease will work , and why she did n’t just avail herself of it two time of day earlier . And then Bob Hoskins develop the power of teleportation and becomes gently psychic . And then Mitra makes some decisiveness that I ca n’t fathom at all .

Oh , and did I cite that the loss leader of the cannibals is Malcolm McDowell ’s Logos ? And that in the last showdown between Mitra ’s Bentley and the cannibals ’ ragtag collecting of stinky cars and motorcycles , we learn a version of “ Two Tribes ” by Frankie go To Hollywood ? And the cannibal leader has a biohazard symbol tattooed on his back , and a leash slave in full rubber bondage gear ? And McDowell ’s medieval freaks have biohazard insignias — and biohazard stained glass ?

Bottom line : Doomsday is a desirable addition to the Resident Evil canon of “ butt joint - kicking babe in a ruined reality ” movies . Just do n’t ask any hard questions , like where the cannibals get all their pink whisker dye and pristine latex bodysuits , and you ’ll enjoy the saltation , crashing , exploding , splattering , multiple decollate goodness .

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