But, he explains: “B. told me to live, to go on, as I’ve told her.”
Andres Kudacki
Years before, while compiling their wills, he says the couple had a frank discussion about their futures should either of them become incapacitated.
“B. asked me to go on with my life,” he says. “Anyone who says B. didn’t do that doesn’t know B. We wanted each other to be happy.”
Smith was officially diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s in 2013, but had begun exhibiting classic signs of the disease, including mood swings and increasing bouts of forgetfulness, for several years before that, he says.
Her frightening diagnosis came while she was still in the midst of building her empire. Over the years she opened three eponymous restaurants, penned three cookbooks, hosted the nationally syndicated show,B. Smith With Style,and was the first African American woman to grace the cover ofMademoisellemagazine and launch her own brand of home goods at Bed, Bath and Beyond.
“What we would like people to know is that when somebody has Alzheimer’s, how devastating it is, how 24/7 it is, how draining it is,” he says.
Saying no to putting Smith in a home, he and his daughter, Dana, 32, help feed her, bathe her, dress her (which can take up to 45 minutes, says Dana) and keep her safe, he says.
Finding a partner in Lerner,with whom he hosts a radio show on 77WABC, has helped him cope with the overwhelming responsibilities of caring for Smith.
“You can be a caregiver and be loving to the patient and your loved one but you can still find some joy. It doesn’t need to be one or the other.”
source: people.com
